Boy, It Has Been A While!

It's been quite some time since I last posted ... shameful!

I do have lots to write.  My man and I are still not "official," but I have come to terms with him and I taking our time to get this relationship started.  I don't know why I'm in such a hurry ... I guess I just feel this intense connection already that I don't want to wait to get things going.  That's always a bad move!  You never want to rush things, especially love and relationships because you get yourself so high that you are bound to fall!  And the higher you get the harder it will hurt.

I know I don't want to lose him, so I'm afraid to push it.  I'm going to give him time to work out his divorce issues and finally learn to trust me.  He's afraid of getting hurt, funny!  SO AM I!!!  I don't know how to get him to understand that I've been through HELL some awful relationships.  I don't want him to know about the blog yet.  That always seems to make things worse. 

OK, so that could be the question of the day ... To tell about the blog or not to tell?  Should I let him know I'm sharing some of our issues with at least 21 other people (my followers :) LOVE YOU GUYS!!!) on the world wide web?  Or not and just leave all well enough alone?

OK, now a shameless plug ....

My sisters and I will be walking for the AVON WALK FOR BREAST CANCER this year in Chicago, Illinois.  We need to collect $1,800 EACH in donations before we can do so.  You can donate online by going to this webpage ... http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk/Chicago?px=5213455&pg=personal&fr_id=1930

PLEASE DONATE!!! EVERY DOLLAR (or Euro) COUNTS!!!

Thanks!!!

It's not "official"

Boy am I ever tired of hearing those words!

Party Guy has gone about introducing me as the "Unnofficial" to all his family friends.  How endearing! (please note my sarcasm in this statement ...)

I have mentioned my disdain about this and he stated, "I'm scared."  Words that are far too familiar to me (as they have been stated several times by the Bad Habit as the reason as to why we weren't a couple).  So how to I answer?  I don't.  How could I?  How could I tell him that I just didn't want to crawl right back into the never ending rabbit hole of "I'm too scared to break down by the 150 foot titatium wall around my heart" again?

I did the best thing I could; ignore it and cry myself to sleep ... :*(

But there is a glimmer of hope !!!  He does want to make it "official" ... eventually ... according to him it's "sooner that I expect it."  Well, I'm not expecting it, so some time before my 50th birthday would be sooner than I expect it ...

So close!

Ladies, I am "this close" to shutting down this blog!  Party Guy and I have been talking about making it "official" for a while.  But, of course, I can't say anything yet because it is not truly OFFICIAL!!!

He wants to talk to my Dad and stuff (which I find completely unnecessary romantic).  That will buy him some more time, I guess.  Then there is the divorce obstacle that we have to hurdle over ... That alone may inspire me to continue writing ...

In happier news, he spent Thanksgiving with my family.  So soon in the game and he is already joining me for family gatherings ... I must admit, I think I'm (as the Americans say it) "catching feelings." <3 <3 <3

Update ...

We haven't clearly described where our "relationship" is headed, but he has openly stated that he wants one.  There are some issues I have to deal with (of course ...).  For instance, I don't know if I should really be jumping into a relationship with someone who is still technically married.  His divorce is dragging on and I'm afraid I'm just a rebound.  But in the back of my mind I keep thinking of when we were kids ... I had such a little school girl crush on him! 

Do you think that's clouding my judgement???

Something Wonderful is Happening!

Party Guy and I have been getting together lately and things are looking great!  I don't want to jinx things by writing this, because let's face it, everytime I write something good about someone something bad happens.

But, just know that things are good so far and when I feel safe enough to explain the details, I will ...

In other news, I am no longer ArmyBLOND!  I have recently dyed my hair back to its natural color ... I got tired of keeping up appearances as a blond and dying it got expensive!